Lauren DiCioccio embroidered bag
*thinks about life for more than 2 seconds*
seeing assholes u used to be friends with like
but I found it a hard concept to grasp
when he was always gone
and I grew up on radio static and blackberry preserves.
I remember having smaller hands
and looking at him through wider eyes like everything
was so much grander
just because it was so much bigger than me
and he was so much bigger than me
so he must be grand too;
and for a long time I thought that he was
but now words like sweetheart and princess
make me straighten my back
and shuffle my feet: back and forth, back and forth
always on the move.
I am a runner — just like my father — only we prefer leaving
to lacing up sneakers and hitting the track.
The first boy that I loved used to kiss my forehead
and it sent chills down my spine every day
until one of his friends laughed and said:
“what are you? her father?”
and I realized why I liked his big hands so much more
than his sloppy mouth.
I used to bury my face in his clothes
because I liked the smell: cheap beer, cigarettes, Old Spice cologne
and I knew it from somewhere
I knew it from somewhere
I knew it from
the way way my father used to lean in
and smooth back my hair,
plant a kiss on my forehead.
Sometimes the noises of mouths still make me upset:
kissing, chewing, breathing, slurring speech.
Shouting makes my insides jump up my throat.
Once my mother said to me,
she said: “you’re going to fall for men like your father;
and I wanted to ask her if that meant I would fall for a fighter
and a hard fist and a fast car,
boys on motorcycles,
people who ran from their problems,
midnight phone calls from the beds of other women,
slippery mouths with tongues that twisted truth like cherry stems
or if that meant I might just be comfortable with absence." - "I Am A Runner" Trista Mateer (via tristamateer)
That’s why, when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it." - How I Met Your Mother (via rainysundaysandcoffee)